1. |
Disenchant
00:56
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2. |
Fall to Earth
03:20
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Never so quiet inside.
The lonesome spirit sending cries.
Thrown again from someplace high, we fail again to fly.
This fall to earth, embracing the return of love I see.
Returning peace. Welcome, complete.
Everything that’s been missing all this time.
There is not one human heart alive
To wake me from this dream.
Nothing within wants to fight or change the end I’ve seen.
Life takes and takes and takes.
Take everything now please.
The breath, the blood, any good I’ve done I will not believe.
So I fall to earth, embracing the return of love I see.
Welcome and complete.
My ending.
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3. |
Status Quo
04:46
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Always at moments when most in need
Of a simple word, some hope to believe.
Its there for someone else, not me.
When good is the shade I just don’t see.
Does it matter? I exist is just how it is.
Blessed are the rare, rare days I can meet another human gaze,
But I’ll walk by with a smile no one looks up to receive.
And every step away I feel the reviving of grief.
That sad ‘take me with you’ disease.
Can’t you acknowledge me now please?
Does it matter? I exist is just how it is.
It doesn’t matter. I exist is just how it is.
I never was the remembered type.
I never made such a mark on life.
This lacking in all ways runs so deep.
It’s every passion I could not keep.
Oh and the fear that I let breathe is the
God of my heartbeat.
Further away I go the more you let me know it matters I exist
Even if the world as it should be is not how it is.
The world as it should be is not how it is, because
No one looks up to receive.
The good in this I just don’t see.
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4. |
Breaking Loose
04:00
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I sense the decay.
The rot behind your sweet face.
Keep away from the sun, you fake.
Your play innocence won’t keep you safe.
I dare ask, is anything you are true?
I watch what you say and feel what you do.
And I hear in your words the knife driving through.
I can feel my own fury breaking loose.
This kind of hate I will use.
Higher minds are far and few here.
With this fire I will burn clear
Your worthless ground view. .
You are nothing true.
And you can’t save yourself. I guarantee you hell.
No, you can’t save yourself. I guarantee you hell.
I feel my own fury breaking loose.
This kind of hate I will use.
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5. |
My Showing Up
03:48
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Stay quiet and smile.
The rest will have their fun.
Throw in a word once a while.
This is me showing up.
And how it looks will have to be enough.
Pretending for you is my love.
Disguise the hurt - no one knows what this does.
No one knows the bloody, beaten secret I’ve become.
I wish I could feel like you.
A weightless fill of time and ease,
But I trust no version of the truth.
My mind has never known peace.
And as the rest have their fun,
This is me showing up.
How it looks will have to be enough.
Pretending for you is my love.
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6. |
Into A Box
04:24
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I paint another strangers face.
You replace another friend not here.
A final touch - I put down the brush.
Your soullessness made clear.
Then it’s thrown into a box forgotten
Like where the best of myself now is.
I could go into a box forgotten.
No soul on earth has me to miss.
I draw another pair of eyes.
They bleed the tears I won’t.
They feel the fear inside me,
Reflect my dying hope.
Soaked with ink, these pages.
I close the book and breathe.
It’s the art of needing no one.
A heart heavy with grief.
Somewhere gone myself now is.
I create with no one to give.
It goes into a box forgotten
And not one soul has me to miss.
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7. |
Fair Assessment
05:00
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Way at the top. Does that not mean best?
Well if I was God I’d put your kind to rest.
The shameful human things you do.
Don’t even bother to excuse
The kick when one is already down.
Keep your fellow creature screaming loud.
So why now should I offer compassion?
With my troubles you’ve had none for me.
I watch all the time how it happens.
You hand me rope and show me the tree.
But honestly which of us is World better off without?
When hatred is your joy and cruel makes you proud
A fair assessment leaves no doubt.
Your heart cannot be found.
Mistakenly named best here at the top.
Still saying we are ready when we’re not.
I pray for the panic. Let us run out of time.
Let it sink in. Yes we all will die.
Not one of us makes it out ahead.
Peace of mind I won’t forget.
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8. |
Further Proof
00:25
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9. |
So Hard to Find
04:00
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I admit, it isn’t right.
When I throw my hands up, hopeless inside.
There is something I must kill.
Something here must die.
But outside of mind I’m a losing fight.
Why is good always so hard to find?
Day will never win over the night.
Toward life, toward self - such conditional love.
What can I do when no amount is ever enough?
Look back at the damage done.
There is no future to move on.
Why is good always so hard to find?
Day will never win over the night.
When this happens - when this hopeless in mind
There is something I must kill
Someone here must die.
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10. |
As Distance Grows
04:19
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A cry everlasting,
Breathing torment.
As I remember your life now spent.
And the more I come to know,
Greater the pain in distance grows.
This wait for the end takes me so long.
I hate being here with you gone.
Those wars within no one knew you fought.
And for the way you’d fallen, one could never have been caught.
Broken so far beyond a fix.
There was no help another soul could give.
But I remember you tried to live.
Grief everlasting, can you forgive?
The more I come to know
Greater the pain in distance grows.
This wait for the end takes me so long.
I hate being here with you gone.
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11. |
I Have To
04:20
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Keep focused. Get past this.
Don’t entertain thoughts like you won’t.
It’s one then another, another again.
The pills slip down your throat.
And I am going somewhere now.
Disturbing way, but I will get out.
With such fury in my veins, I have to.
It doesn’t matter to me how.
My hatred burns, but I bleed slow.
Waiting to empty, I do not hope.
I dare you leave me here face down.
My world I swear won’t hear me drown.
Leave me here in blood face down.
No one will hear a sound.
I grip the blade my heart will taste.
Twisting and twisting, whatever it takes.
Disturbing way, I have to
Such fury in my veins, I have to.
Whatever it takes, I have to.
It doesn’t matter to me how.
Disturbing way, but I have to.
Such fury in my veins, I have to.
Whatever it takes, I have to.
It doesn’t matter to me how.
I am going somewhere now.
It doesn’t matter to me how.
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12. |
Meanwhile
04:12
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Higher power, finish your ruining.
You took all I wanted.
I don’t need what’s left.
And starting over doesn’t suit me.
Now I don’t even want myself.
Have it go the way you always planned.
Offer help then you let slip my hand.
Your fairness is a cruel cheat
Where not even death would bring true peace.
Life is for the suffering, I see. I see.
No point here to address.
A reason was never promised.
Letting go would be a shame if I expected to be saved.
But here I am, digging my grave.
Caring nothing about faith.
No more pretending purpose. One day forever ends.
Between now and then I won’t care what else happens.
You took all I wanted. I don’t need what is left.
And starting over doesn’t suit me.
Now I don’t even want myself.
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13. |
The Expectation
04:41
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What do you want from me?
To lift my arms as if they are wings and
Tell myself I can fly if I believe?
Think hard enough and I could do anything…
Think hard enough. I know what I should be.
But I’m missing too many human things.
I don’t have the hope you need or the urgency.
My mind is not one made up of dreams.
But I know what I should be.
Don’t I disappoint you?
Am I worth what you lose for getting in my way?
Feel the cold between. I can see you’re afraid.
But I’m sorry. This whole life I pretend faith
‘Cause I know what I should be.
It’s not right to mend me when I only bend to break.
It’s not right you save me. Goodness I only waste.
So this time, you will stay and for good I go away.
I go away. ‘Cause I know what I should be.
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14. |
To You All Returns
03:46
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Feel too much, but it’s all nameless.
Let me settle down. Sink into ground
To muffle out the sound of world.
Drown out the sound of world…
Shadow consume me. Night be my cure.
Lose my patience. Unravel the nerve.
What I am can be of worth somehow.
I am ready for the purpose found.
Existing simply hurts.
You breathe for me through the worst.
From you, Darkness, came our world.
To you, Darkness, all returns.
What I am can be of worth somehow
I am ready for the purpose found.
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15. |
Give Me This Moment
02:45
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Allyson Marie Cincinnati, Ohio
Allyson is a self taught musician / singer-songwriter who has written and produced her work independently since 2007.
Allyson Marie recommends:
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Beautiful flow and I love the vocals and sorrowful lyrics of this album.
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Stunning, soulful vocals and each track is so different and special on it's own.
go to albumIf you like Allyson Marie, you may also like:
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