1. |
The Newborn
03:21
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Another comes.
She puts up a fight.
Screaming at the light.
Fearing her own mind.
Terrified of life.
The newborn makes me cry
As one unable to decide,
As one with so much given time.
To live is struggle, is suffer and die.
And there’s no escape now.
Another comes.
She puts up a fight.
Screaming at her light.
Fearing her own mind.
Terrified of life.
And there’s no escape now.
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2. |
My Kind
04:15
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Human disappears from view.
My kind, worth only enough to use.
As if you own me, take my voice.
Force my ruin, take my choice.
I disappear from view.
There is nothing like a heart in you.
To say if one soul suffers, why not two?
See us far too poor, you say take the chance.
You say take on more. It’s all God’s plan.
And to our shame once we do.
Not one mountain would you help move.
There is nothing like a heart in you.
Choosing to believe to such corrosive degree,
You never noticed when your hate corrupted your faith.
What if I force my way and make you pay?
Let you know, NO, you have No say!
What if I kept your mouth shut? What if I killed your name?
Let you know my life is not your game.
I know I’m not alone when I refuse.
I have my soul. I know my truth.
And you disappear from view. You’re not of any use.
I’m not alone. I refuse.
I have a soul. I know the truth.
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3. |
Do So
03:27
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It goes in circles.
Self-punishing, to want.
How it turns to shame and says
You’ve been given enough.
But I say Honey don’t worry.
Go ahead and spend, spend, spend.
You have no one to outlive your debts.
You won’t have years to gather regrets.
You are gone before any consequence would settle in.
I promise…
I watch you battle and rage.
But this war is won.
Dream now. Desire. Wish,
But nothing of it shall come.
I have won…
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4. |
The Danger
03:08
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And you change.
I see it there on your face.
The darkest gloom upon your grace.
I see you change.
I hear a storm no one is
Braced for in your voice.
Caught prey, gripped by fear
Without a choice.
I hear your voice.
But tell me what to do.
The danger is true.
I’m losing you.
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5. |
At Your Mercy
04:10
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Eyes downward, staring at hands.
At your mercy is everything I am.
I’m beneath a desert sun
Spilling soul and spilling blood.
I speak, but how will you understand?
The sickness is true and fear is
Working it’s way through.
But I weigh my notions of help.
Those anchors thrown by somebody else…
When only I can know. Alone to choose.
Alone one must make the first move.
But wait for it. Anger screams.
Shattering the glass.
To heal again, scarring of skins
I wish I didn’t have.
Along with a hidden strength
For which I never asked.
Just what is better from where I’ve always been?
I could be alive beyond where I’ve dreamed my own end.
I’ve dreamed my own end.
I speak. How will you understand?
(I speak) Will you understand?
(I speak) Will you understand?
(I speak) Everything I am…
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6. |
Here For No One Else
04:18
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Always kept in mind: I wish you had more time.
I wish we could trade- have your life, you have mine.
Collect more moments. I’m terrified to lose.
Collect my soul first God, if I could choose…
I’m here for no one else.
At night wishing for my death.
Praying this will help.
To make sure you are kept.
I won’t make it beyond the truth.
I’m determined not to move any further here alone.
I’ll be with you when you go…
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7. |
In Vain
04:14
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This day tears through.
Wants my last bit of hope.
And I have it in mind to give up. Let it go.
I could forget my grief and fall into peace
At the sight of sunset.
Quiet the scream -settle and breathe
In rust, blood red
I could forgive the world just don’t make me
Wake up to it again.
It’s beautiful to see you try
But to no purpose. You know why.
We know with whom all power lies.
We know they don’t care if we die.
There’s no wonder left. No curious surprise.
No giving things a chance.
There’s no honor left. No light.
Nothing heals. Nothing holds.
No empathy in sight.
But it’s beautiful to see you try.
But to no purpose. We know why.
They don’t care if we die.
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8. |
Pointedly
00:28
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Piano Instrumental
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9. |
The Breath of Heart
04:18
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To hate the breath of one’s own heart.
How have I made it this far?
Mind and soul have never known agreement
How have I made it this far?
And I hardly chose to step in my own skin
How have I made it this far?
What slipped from my hands?
What dropped to the ground?
Did I know where I was when I heard the sound
Did I feel human as the blood poured out?
It’s saving me again for now, for now.
Slow with pain, I starve
I lost God somewhere in the dark.
Steady breath of my heart
I hate everything you are.
How have I made it this far?
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10. |
Under Shadow
03:48
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Watch the water slow and slow.
As night deepens, freezes cold.
Under shadow there is no moving on my own way.
Watching everything else change,
Endure the pain. I am forced to stay.
But my heart is racing to catch up to some ten years ahead.
All the time now given up, what will there be left?
And what will remain human with love for life now spent?
And don’t I need a reason?
How can I fill in what’s left?
With love for now spent, how can I fill in what’s left?
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11. |
Spirit Drifts
04:54
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Silence has presence.
Something like God.
Filling the emptiness, but not.
Another breath - a misstep. I apologize.
I forgot what was left for me to decide.
Aren’t you tired of knowing your insignificant life?
Aren’t you tired of fearing even more wasted time?
The spirit weeping never leaves my sight.
Always drifting…So cold inside.
Intentionally created with minds incapable
Of owning the reason why.
The answer made to be too far from reach to find.
And be always lost for it is always night.
Always drifting…So cold inside.
Just knowing there is winter.
There are nightmares in the wind.
The spark of fire - the cloud and spin.
The sky floods of broken promise.
Then winter again, again, again…
The kind of hell what God would dream?
Create with no reason for anything.
The spirit weeping never leaves my sight.
Always drifting…So cold inside.
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12. |
Stranded
05:06
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Failures of hope line these streets.
So tired of the gray.
Sickened by this ruthless game.
Being told there’s one right way.
I go. I escape my grief, my hate.
But where am I going when I’ve been there and back?
When more in love with everything I lack?
Where am I going? I have seen there and back.
And don’t deserve anything I have.
Try and thread together what it means.
What we’re all afraid to see.
Those chances taken here and there.
To offer help as if we care.
And for all this understanding
We never fill the need.
I go. I escape my grief, my hate.
But where am I going when I’ve been there and back?
When more in love with everything I lack?
Where am I going? I have seen there and back.
And don’t deserve anything I have.
I go. I escape my grief, my hate.
I will go. I escape my grief, my hate.
I will go.
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13. |
Step Into View
05:27
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Step into view.
Don’t wait for me to meet you.
I know just right where you are.
I know right where you are.
And my getting there will never follow through.
No, I never follow through.
Can’t you be the louder voice in mind?
Assure me with those age old lies.
Tell me I have plenty of time.
That I am not a waste of life.
Oh, tell me I’m not a waste of life.
Can you get between the fear in me I cannot let go?
And the risks I am to take to feel I have control?
Go between the blade tearing at my skin
Show me the direction every lesson fails to give.
Show me direction. I’ve failed ever lesson.
Find the one within willing to commit.
Find the small bit of soul still with courage to live.
Find the one within.
Find the small bit of soul willing to commit.
With courage to live.
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14. |
For Tomorrow
04:08
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The moment, I can’t say when,
I understood what being okay is.
For once I did not feel wrong.
I didn’t wish all my hope gone.
It settled in my bones and flesh.
Needing no more, I am worth no less.
The pain I voice has a place and past.
But for this moment is all I ask,
In peace.
Allow yourself a dream.
Survive for tomorrow
And see.
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15. |
Life is Still Here
02:35
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Piano Insrumental
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Allyson Marie Cincinnati, Ohio
Allyson is a self taught musician / singer-songwriter who has written and produced her work independently since 2007.
Allyson Marie recommends:
Wary + Strange
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Beautiful flow and I love the vocals and sorrowful lyrics of this album.
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there is no Other (with Francesco Turrisi) Deluxe Edition
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Stunning, soulful vocals and each track is so different and special on it's own.
go to albumIf you like Allyson Marie, you may also like:
A Stranger That You Met Before
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A love letter to the DIY music scene.
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The Brooklyn duo embodies no wave's spirit of opposition.
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featured on Bandcamp Radio Apr 30, 2024
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