1. |
The Cold
04:46
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An unwanted wake…
I’m with shadows in wait
Embraced as I feel nothing
But a freeze wrapped around me
Cold, I sleep in darkness, in peace
The death I am and all I need
I’m without your grief
Your faith of lies I won’t believe
And I hear nothing but one voice calling
I bleed for the freedom now within reach
Cold, I sleep in darkness, in peace
And I won’t be stolen
From where I have chosen to be
See what I see
Forget everything my life should mean
Know what I know
I have already let go
Cold I sleep
In darkness, in peace
The death I am –
And all I need
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2. |
Surrendered
03:08
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To you I’ve given up. I’ve given in
Though I promised this could never ever hurt me enough
To you I’ve given up
Somewhere beyond hopeless doubt and fear I’ve run
But you know me, round and round we go
For every break through- high and low-
You’ve chosen to follow
I don’t want to be wanted this way.
I settle – I ache – I satisfy all that you crave
You claim my life…the very breath of my blood,
And I’ve forgotten who I was before you, before your love
Before everything I’ve done,
Everything I’ve become
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3. |
The One You Know
03:16
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Fear the doubt creeping in
Of crucial moments you have missed
She doesn’t do these things, she doesn’t think that way
Not the one I know
--The one I know I know
She could not have said what she just said
You will believe what you recognize from her instead
Though her eyes are pain and sleeves are stained blood red
It was so insignificant
--The truth will not get through your head
So wait for it to happen
The end to emptiness
As you’re too afraid to notice and too late to understand
The one you say you know you know
Will be there resting dead
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4. |
The Shadows
03:32
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They are calling you from here
The light falls away from your eyes
You don’t intend to fight
You are for the other side
And you would leave me without warning or the chance to say goodbye
I understand why
No one can save you this time
These whispers peel away our sky
An honest view with nowhere else to hide
Spun and spilled over the rim
So much you are left without
But I know what you have found
Fearless and far from doubt
Fully convinced by the promises your loyalties allow
You’ve taken their vow
Blood fills and drips from your mouth
You’ve immersed yourself in everything they are about
Shamelessly, their lies you recite
Crowned by the shadows with flame to ignite the way
You confess and betray the weight and restraints
In death the memories take flight
As the silence breaks you from this life
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5. |
Identify
03:57
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This voice is still a child.
This soul loses itself amid the
Many shades of gray.
Here and there, creates a face,
And begs the god she’s found her place.
To settle in as human.
To rest – content to stay.
Nothing would mean more
If not so soon she’s run away.
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6. |
Left Alone
04:47
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Rise, fall, pain
Left alone
The one they’ve thrown away
And I sit here, and ask myself am I okay
No, not today
All that breathes- stay away
Life spent, it’s unwanted, watching me, wordless—
Your eyes at a distance
You stand there as I’m thrown in
Say you don’t hear me? You pretend
Every word’s not lost in the wind
Didn’t know? It’s a trend, it won’t end
Every lie is not given its own grin
But my illness has spoken
My screams have broken skin
And I know you see the blood on my sleeve
Wouldn’t dare look beneath
So I keep tearing. I’m not saving my last breath
Not for you, or anybody else
One day
We’ll all be gone to some place
No hope without hate
No faith without shame
All gone one day…and
I can’t wait
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7. |
What More?
05:41
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The end of the end
I will admit I’ve been impatient
Attempt after attempt
To bend until broken
And let’s not pretend I’m not ruined
I’m ruined, but I have tried my best
I don’t dream, I don’t imagine
In mind all is grey, all is cold
All has fallen gone
I wait to die
I’m tired…so tired
What more do you want from me?
When I’ve never been able to want
Or love anything fully enough
The life I waste for all I haven’t done
A change will never come
Though little I care to survive
However it matters, it happens, I get by
What more do you want from me?
What more do I have to be?
When I’m right where I belong?
Here behind my brick wall, so tall
Thrown against again and again
How has it not killed me yet?
Attempt after attempt…
I’ve tried my best
What more do you want from me?
How soulless do I have to be?
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8. |
So Come What May
03:00
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I’ve imagined in so many ways
The honesty no one can take.
The effort no one will make for one
So clearly not meant to be saved.
So come what may.
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9. |
Truth Is
03:55
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By love, what do you mean?
I cannot show. I cannot please.
And don’t lead me to think there
Is no one else you’d rather I be.
As if there is nothing more you
Need me to need.
Truth is I’ve been opened and
Nothing more will bleed.
Truth is I’ve become
Deaf to my own screams.
The injuries are so hard to explain
To see the light of dawn and
Fear another day, when wellness
And purpose are so hard to give.
So impossible to admit…
I confess the punishments are
Mine alone to make.
My choice again of no escape.
It’s my choice again to claim.
I need so much
To get in my own way.
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10. |
Your Own Heart
04:19
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How cruel it has to end.
When you think you know someone.
When you think you know what their love is.
Your sun is burning through with pure hatred.
You’ve had enough.
He’s let you down.
After all you’ve done…
You were never the treasure as promised.
The heart you were shown was not honest.
Now falling through the glass,
Your mind is bleeding through the past.
This was never meant to last,
A failure you’ll keep it as.
And everything you have you leave behind.
You gave it time. Reclaim your life.
It means more that your own heart survive.
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11. |
Lured In
02:47
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Tell me it’s not real.
Show me she was never so true
For this ruin we’ve settled into.
Don’t forget, we are now blind.
Lows of great comfort – a closeness –
A love just enough.
They took us as far as we allowed.
Lost before we quite knew how.
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12. |
Your Comfort
03:11
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Not too softly.
It’s always worse when you must repeat.
The flame and its constant burn –
The ache of our constant hurt has
Bitten through from beneath.
Forgive me, but I am your ever present shame
And I must have my say.
Be sure, you will love me so much more
Once I’ve gotten in your way,
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13. |
The Stars
02:37
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Look up. See their light.
The stars are nothing without night.
Wonder how long they have known our sky.
Are they ghosts we see?
Have they long since died?
And only the dark knows just why
the spark and flame are given time.
Only the night knows where hides
The intention of what we call life.
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14. |
Together We Go
04:59
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Don’t even think so
She’ll never sign for it
Though it would make the difference
Your sickened heart might make it one more day
But the unkindness of her is cruel and sure
And she would never sign it over for you
She’ll lend nothing to help you make it through
And for the best, you must agree
Only worthy in your weakness
Overtaken, held down and hollowed out
More for every moment of hell endured
Be made better, my love…Quiet now your screams
Truth again is surfacing
Close your eyes, remember me
I’ve promised you peace
When all fear has bled and the need removed
I will follow through
When cold and lone be the given light,
Love for life never be known
Together we await a dream all our own
A found place far beneath
We drift the way of fallen wings
This secret of my keep
This secret of me
Together we go
Together we find home
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15. |
This Way to Cry
02:16
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The way she sings this word
The saddest wound I’ve ever heard
Together when we die…
Sad little note and I
I thought if I closed my eyes
You wouldn’t make me breathe
Not again, not this alone
This way to cry, the sick I heave
They see but don’t come with me
The distance always shows
Letting go the way I seem
The face begins to fold
Pain I’ve learned is sweet when worse
Remembering to hurt…
Answers opened to the soul
In no life have I found my home
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16. |
When I Get Over
06:20
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A lightless eye
The shadow side of consequence
Keep me here
Leave me as I am
When I get over
When I bleed in
I won’t let the sun rise again
For night and the endless sleep
Wishing I’d never been…
I will darken through
And beneath the memory will rest a heartless truth
All along my way was marked
I’ve known what I must do
Although it won’t mean enough
I won’t turn away from or let go what I’ve done
I won’t rise above what I’ve become
So alone and still somehow not my own
I don’t forget we only get what we’ve given
For the years I went numb in disguise
Questioning why, wishing I’d
Never been
When I get over
When I finally bleed in
When I get over
I rise again…
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Allyson Marie Cincinnati, Ohio
Allyson is a self taught musician / singer-songwriter who has written and produced her work independently since 2007.
Allyson Marie recommends:
Wary + Strange
by Amythyst Kiah
Beautiful flow and I love the vocals and sorrowful lyrics of this album.
go to album
there is no Other (with Francesco Turrisi) Deluxe Edition
by Rhiannon Giddens
Stunning, soulful vocals and each track is so different and special on it's own.
go to albumIf you like Allyson Marie, you may also like:
A Stranger That You Met Before
by A Day Without Love
A love letter to the DIY music scene.
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A dark folk debut from Montreal’s Brigitte Naggar.
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The Brooklyn duo embodies no wave's spirit of opposition.
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Circus Of Desire
by Olivia Chaney
Spectral indie folk from this York singer/songwriter delivers songs wreathed in mystic beauty.
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