1. |
Disgraced
01:17
|
|||
|
It always has to get in my way.
It always gets before what I say.
Anything I say, always in my way.
And I can't hide my face or disguise my disgrace.
I don't have the will to wait.
|
||||
2. |
Split
03:21
|
|||
|
Self I hate,
I am to be always at blame.
There are no innocent mistakes…
I could not be without my shame.
Has the end come?
Has it really happened?
Have we heard the lesson?
Please tell me, have we learned?
At step one with nothing to follow next
Where everything erases, everyday resets.
Unseen progress by experience
Forgive me…
You’ve forced me to forget
The quiet ache;
You’ll not explain my regret.
Self I hate,
I am to be always at blame.
There are no innocent mistakes…
I could not be without my shame.
|
||||
3. |
By Neglect
04:02
|
|||
|
Nearing the end.
Another sad song I must sing.
Another undressing in shame.
Opened eyes, owning the blame.
My fault, I have never been heard.
Those wanted words I have never deserved.
For one letter of reply…Just one
For the many I would write.
I will end my wait.
I will end my pain.
The need is always too much to ask.
But soon I’ll not be thought of as least.
I will not be considered last.
Soon my loveless heart will bleed by
The edge my life is taken past.
|
||||
4. |
Committed
03:15
|
|||
|
Lost somewhere far within, I fear.
Holding back the moment.
Holding my breath still.
Knowing death may soon become my will.
Tell me why I am now without your words.
Why every direction can only welcome more hurt.
Here I cannot stay.
I am not held enough by the light to
Find my way.
Alone you will leave me.
No tears be shed, no grieving.
I will fall into the moment.
Set free this breath, I will.
Knowing this shame filled soul is
Mine to kill.
|
||||
5. |
Understanding
02:12
|
|||
|
Hear me, hear me
Crumbling
Ready for the fall
See me, see me
Tumbling
And do nothing at all
Bleeding, screaming
Ruining
My body’s broken through
Watching, you plead
“Forgive me”
It drains your living hue
Sullen, speaking
Riddling
I left a little clue
Fearful dreaming
Mindfully
Thinking of what I’ll do
Praying, heeding
Wondering
You cry a silent shame
Searching, seeing
Finally
Deciphering my pain
|
||||
6. |
Ghost of a Ghost
01:58
|
|||
|
Fixed water, frozen over
Far below…
It keeps me where he won’t find me
Please don’t let me go
Don’t return me to the outside
I am without soul
Cold, but I am safe here alone
I’ve been safe here alone
Lost in her shadow…
A ghost of a ghost
Lost in her shadow
|
||||
7. |
Low Mood
03:45
|
|||
|
A pale early sky
Begins my morning tears
Empty body, poisoned spirit
More than grateful no one’s near
Dangerous contemplations rise
Of rope, bottles, and blood
Final words I never write
I beg the needs be left undone
One thought wrapped warm remains
I never need to wake
The end, the last desire left
Witnessing these risen veins
Rays of sun cut me again
The joy in light won’t understand
Struck with a darkest mood
Before the wounds could mend
|
||||
8. |
I Once Fought
02:09
|
|||
|
Can you do me a favor?
Can you say that it’s okay?
Maybe it’s permission I’ve needed –
Acceptance beyond my own I’ve sought –
To act upon a thought.
A dear friend I once fought.
I tried despite knowing they’d
Already won.
|
||||
9. |
On My Worst Days
02:53
|
|||
|
All things are given their place.
All people, in all their ways
Slip from the gray to black on
My worst days,
When every shadow has its say.
And feeling will
Share its love for me over fact.
The dark within I’ve
Died to see…
We are never to look back.
|
||||
10. |
For Now
03:19
|
|||
|
For now, I make it through.
For now is all that I can give in truth.
Waves of ruin, for now held against –
Barely keeping these waters from over my head…
I don’t have a choice to make.
There is no reaching out in vain
As one not worth being saved.
For what do I wait?
And why ever should I fight to stay?
For now, I make it through.
For now is all that I can give in truth.
|
||||
11. |
Scorpionic
03:34
|
|||
|
Love me –
Hate me for anything.
Either extreme I need;
You’ll find me alive nowhere in between.
All you have to say is “hold on”.
Keep waiting and hoping though all light has gone…
But those words are cruel when one is with no reason to stay.
With no dream to keep breathing for
And little room is left for faith.
Why don’t you take all that I take?
Think your way through it all –
My soul you’ll recreate.
Why don’t you take the rest of these awful years?
You find me a way from here.
|
||||
12. |
In My Blues (a cappella)
02:17
|
|||
|
Honest to God,
I say what’s the use?
You know what it is I do.
Drown me in my blues.
My wrongs are bleeding true.
To go on, I say what’s the use?
Never found my way.
All my years are a shame.
How many more must I wait?
Honest Angel let me be.
Keep your light. Save your grief.
Forget me in all my need.
I say let me be.
Never found my way.
All my years are a shame.
How many more must I wait?
I say...
|
||||
13. |
Years In
04:08
|
|||
|
Wait a moment.
Ease away from him.
Open your eyes and find
Your way away from him…
Yes – I am angry.
Full of rage and fault.
Yes – I’ve been lying.
You are trying. I am not.
I forget why it is I’m here.
Years in and my purpose
Has yet to be made clear.
I tell you all,
My dying day is near.
As driven as the rain pours down.
And once there and found,
Might my spirit be kept sealed?
Be sound…
|
||||
14. |
As I Am
02:36
|
|||
|
Easy it was, never notice
Useless it is to be
I could let go the words I tell myself
Turn from my own screams
As cold as I am, as alone as I am—
I don’t want what you have
Worse I can see, sure it’s not what I need
Still, I walk flesh upon shattered glass
The eyes are wide without their light
Within I am at rest
Cold as I am, alone as I am—
Inside these dreams of death
|
||||
15. |
Staring At the Wall
03:10
|
|||
|
It would be nice to walk outside
And breathe in the fall breeze.
The air, the earth,
The sunlight through leaves…
Remembered and
They welcome me.
But my longing becomes great need.
And need grows into panic
For the room is filled with emptiness so thick
And my teary morning eyes stay fixed
Staring at the wall.
I can do nothing at all but
Wait through my grief,
Exhausting belief that ‘alive’ may lead in
Some way to ‘set free’.
|
||||
16. |
I Forgive You
04:35
|
|||
|
The shield has worn of its kindness
And hope is torn from its blindness.
Every face you see – my every identity
Soon buried and blessed,
My very best, soon laid to rest.
I won’t wait for you, my sister.
I won’t wait like the fool.
The patience of you made sure
You’ll never move.
You will never do what must be done.
The fear must be overcome.
And I forgive you, mother –
I forgive you and the other,
But don’t waste my time –
Don’t think you can change my mind.
Your love is the reason why I would
Rather die than to trust my heart
To anyone.
But for you, not even
Blood was enough to stay.
Your screams will not save you
From the nightmare,
From my nightmare
There is no escape.
|
||||
17. |
Goodbye
03:32
|
|||
|
No, you don’t have to stay
You don’t have to listen
You don’t have to want me
I don’t even want me
I want nothing I call my own
Imperfect, so whatever could you need?
I’ve said I am not worth it
The effort you’ve given
To spark my strength in light
To breathe me back to life
I was never ready
This will never feel right
I don’t want you to love me-
I’m torn from the dream
I beg you only
Goodbye
|
||||
18. |
The Mending
03:49
|
|||
|
Dream weary eyes,
Another night, another darkest of all.
You never fail – this is where you go
And you already know your way home.
You will save yourself again,
Even if it’s not what you want.
What you want will never happen.
It’s always going to hurt more to heal,
Even if you feel the mending isn’t real.
|
||||
19. |
I Thank You
04:54
|
|||
|
So small the life – and ending.
Although I waste away the bleed,
Your breath has sent for me a
Story all my own yet to be told.
Years I never thought were mine to know.
Any my thank you will never be enough.
I’m grateful will never mean it all.
When no one else made it through my darkness
And every word of hope was the blade against my skin.
And nothing else could save me
And no one here would dare break in
However did you?
When over and done was all I knew?
The final chance, you took my hand
And led me through, you gave me proof.
Mending my broken heart with only the truth.
Saying I am worth the fight,
You would never allow me to let myself die.
I am your survivor of the fall.
My thank you will never be enough.
I’m grateful will never mean it all.
|
||||
20. |
||||
Allyson Marie Cincinnati, Ohio
Allyson is a self taught musician / singer-songwriter who has written and produced her work independently since 2007.
Allyson Marie recommends:
Wary + Strange
by Amythyst Kiah
Beautiful flow and I love the vocals and sorrowful lyrics of this album.
go to album
there is no Other (with Francesco Turrisi) Deluxe Edition
by Rhiannon Giddens
Stunning, soulful vocals and each track is so different and special on it's own.
go to albumIf you like Allyson Marie, you may also like:
A Stranger That You Met Before
by A Day Without Love
A love letter to the DIY music scene.
go to album
A dark folk debut from Montreal’s Brigitte Naggar.
go to album
The Brooklyn duo embodies no wave's spirit of opposition.
go to album
Circus Of Desire
by Olivia Chaney
Spectral indie folk from this York singer/songwriter delivers songs wreathed in mystic beauty.
go to album
